“Let’s get that bread.”
For years now, this colloquial phrase has been repeated, particularly among millennials and members of Generation Z, also known as the ‘zoomers’. And, no – this phrase doesn’t have much to do with baked goods. What it actually refers to is the other definition of ‘dough’: money. This phrase pays tribute to the ‘daily grind’, the art of going out there to make a sustainable living through hard work and perseverance.
None of this is a bad thing. Hardly anything worthwhile is achieved without hard work. But with an increasing awareness of mental health issues, it’s common to hear about people gradually burning out under the weight of daily, continuous work. Forbes recently published an article on this toxic ‘hustle culture’. Hustle culture promotes an endless stream of work without the desired amount of productivity. And it always comes at the expense of one’s mental and physical health.
It’s basically squeezing a wet sponge over a bucket: for a while, the water’s flowing in abundance. There will come a time when the sponge can no longer give what it doesn’t have, but it’s still being squeezed – only this time, there’s no more water to fill that bucket.
An obvious solution to this analogy would be, of course, to let put that sponge down. To let it rest in another container of water while it regains what it has lost. Only then will it be truly productive again.
Life Coaching and the Symphony of Burning Out
That’s why just about every article on hustle culture promotes the same medicine: rest and recuperation. Many people seek to remedy their burnout by taking a step back and reimagining their schedules. Some seek professional help from therapists. Some seek out life coaches.
There are many opinions about just how useful life coaches can be. After all, many famous publications have promoted horror stories about how some people simply wasted their time with their life coaches. But this isn’t exactly true – at least, it isn’t true where competent life coaches are involved.
“Coaching is at its most effective when there is a trusting relationship between the coach and the coachee. This is backed up by years of research and by my own personal experience in coaching more than 3000 people over the years”, Bobbi Kahler says on this matter.
Kahler is herself a renowned life coach, and one whose experience and training have gained her the confidence of many clients throughout her career.
Many things contribute to what makes any life coach a successful and effective one. For Kahler, some of those things include actual life experience and thorough knowledge in her field of expertise.
Kahler worked hard her whole life. From a young age, Kahler has managed to survive wave after wave of tribulations. She was diagnosed at the age of 5 with a speech impediment so severe, her speech pathologist was convinced that she would never be able to speak. She was unable to make at least 18 sounds.
And yet, her mother remained stubborn. She helped Bobbi through years of endless practice. Throughout her life, Bobbi also gained the support of some of her teachers. She eventually went on to participate in her school’s speech and debate team. She also took the opportunity to take on emceeing roles and won the speech division of the Miss Missouri Teen Pageant in 1983.
“My experience with [my speech and debate coach] led me to fall in love with learning and coaching. It led me to fall in love with helping people believe in their potential,” Kahler said.
Despite her tremendous growth, Kahler was 25 when she no longer considered herself to be plagued by her speech issues.
A Lack of Opportunities Growing Up
Kahler didn’t have too many weapons in her arsenal when it came to her means to advance in her career. She grew up with a mother who was, though supportive at times, abusive.
She also had to fight to remain in high school. But alas, she could not do the same for college. By the age of 18, she was expected to move out and support herself. As such, she worked in managerial positions in Wendy’s and McDonald’s stores in Missouri. She got married at the tender age of 21 to a man with whom she currently maintains a friendship, but the two realized soon after that they were not meant to build a life together.
Watching her old high school friends return from college gave Kahler a wistful twinge in her chest. She wanted to go to college, but she had no means to do so, particularly not with her salary.
So, she decided to take charge. She moved back to her birthplace in Illinois, where she worked at a law firm. She also took on a side hustle as a bartender at a country club. Even then, she remained a few bucks short of college.
At this time, Kahler was also in a long-term relationship – however, she soon realized that the relationship was unhealthy. She sought help from her therapist and garnered the courage to leave him and the home they built.
To leave behind the life she found herself stuck in, she needed to make adjustments. And so she did.
Kahler soon moved to Chicago, where she worked and finally managed to pursue a degree. That was the advent of a new chapter in her life. She graduated with a 4.0 and met her current soulmate, Rick.
When The Trials Seem to Have No End
The couple eventually moved to Portland, Oregon. Together, they built a small business and focused their energy on helping other businesses grow.
Kahler’s lifestyle began to be consumed by the stress of supporting their company. Growing their business was an extremely difficult feat, and the success of their business came at a cost: Bobbi’s health faltered. The hustle of it all took over; the candle she kept lit was starting to burn out.
“If you work too hard for too long with no stress relief and no backup plan, you might destroy your health,” Kahler testifies. She saw doctor after doctor until eventually one of them told her that she needed to stop working if she wanted to be alive for her wedding.
“Sometimes a signature strength [like the mindset, ‘I can push through anything’] has to be tamed or reframed. My doctor said, ‘What got you sick won’t get you well.’ Not being able to use a signature strength is terrifying.”
As such, Kahler was forced to put the fruits of her painstaking labor to rest during the decade she took to recover.
Despite the bitterness of it all, Kahler was determined to do one thing and one thing only: she wanted to live. And it wasn’t just about being physically alive. It was about continuing to truly live, to attain the goals she still wanted to attain.
And so, she did.
She took that time off to pursue a master’s degree in Positive Organizational Development. She also began a new career as a coach and trainer for corporations with ASLAN Training and Development at around the same time.
Bobbi and her husband subsequently moved to Colorado for a change of environment. There, she focused more and more on not just being healthy but being fit. Back in school, she had grown up as a lover of sports (particularly baseball). Now, her love for fitness had revived. She focused a portion of her time pursuing activities like biking, cross-country skiing, and disc golfing.
A Healthy Balance Pays Off
When one takes the time to focus on being healthy both in mind and body, it ordinarily shows in their productivity.
For Kahler, her improvement and change of lifestyle showed in her progress with ASLAN. She became a well-loved coach among her clients as one of ASLAN’s top consultants, helping the ASLAN team to grow until it gained a consistent spot on Selling Power’s list of top 20 sales firms for nearly a decade.
Despite her success, Kahler still works to distinguish herself as a coach through continuous preparation.
“I never stop learning, and I never stop trying to be the best I can be for my clients,” Bobbi stated.
Kahler’s story is one of the many testimonies that prove that everybody needs to step away from this hustle culture. Capitalistic demands are turning people who were once kids with glorious ambitions into robots who work the hamster wheel endlessly.
As difficult as this may be in practice, everybody deserves to take a break. To take the opportunity to view life through a different lens, to get help. A simple solution would be to shave off whatever it is in our lives that don’t actually bear fruit.
It’s one thing to exist. It’s another thing to live. And Bobbi Kahler’s story is proof that we simply need to be brave enough to do it.
