Marriage is filled with ups and downs; one moment, everything is great, and then the next, your wife is giving you the silent treatment. If you’ve been married for several years, you may have entered the stage of marriage where you and your spouse are more roommates than lovers. She does her thing while you do yours. At the end of the day, you may both crash into the same bed … to sleep.
It’s natural for marriages to lose the passionate love that defined the beginning of the relationship, but the dry spell doesn’t have to stay. Follow these tips from Sigurd Vedal, a life and relationship coach, to reconnect with your wife and grow the flame of passion.
Create an Emotional Connection
Humans are emotional beings, which means they desire connections with their spouses on a deeper level than just a physical one. If a relationship lacks passion, it could be because the couple is simply going through the motions. There’s no joy when they come together, especially when they have sex.
To experience excitement in their marriage, they need to connect emotionally with each other. They can do this by sharing their wants, needs, desires, and fears. It’s instinctual to avoid being this vulnerable, but if they can mutually open up to each other, the two of them will feel closer and more connected. Problems within a marriage need to be discussed openly; tough conversations can’t be shied away from. A couple can once again fall into passionate love by being honest with each other and trusting each other with their thoughts.
Do Something Exciting
Experiencing passion in a marriage can happen outside of the bedroom, if couples make it a habit to get out of the house together and try something new. Studies show that couples who do exciting hobbies together have more marital satisfaction.
It doesn’t matter so much what they decide to try, as long as both of them are up for the challenge. Anything from mountain biking to learning an instrument to volunteering together could be the catalyst to respark their passion, just as long as they get out of their comfort zones together.
Give a Loving Touch
Touch between spouses can increase feelings of trust, belonging, and happiness. A hormone called oxytocin is released when you hold your spouse’s hand, snuggle, or are intimate with your wife. Oxytocin reduces anxiety between partners. So, the next time you have the opportunity, hold your wife’s hand or massage her shoulders for no other reason than to express your love for her.
Show Appreciation
Showing gratitude for everything one’s spouse does can meet her need for affirmation. When a spouse feels recognized for her sacrifices, intimacy between spouses is increased. Sigurd Vedal explains this concept by comparing love to a flame. The more spouses do things for each other in a way that the other spouse would enjoy, the more the flame of love grows. A couple will feel more love toward each other when they do actions that please each other with no ulterior motive on the opposite end (don’t do something just because you hope sex will follow).
A simple compliment can go a long way, along with pitching in and helping with the housework or do something thoughtful.
Seek Relationship Coaching
It isn’t a sign of weakness when someone admits that they are at a loss for how to reconnect with their spouse. It can be helpful (and necessary) to get outside ideas on how to draw closer to each other. A relationship coach can help both of them meet each other’s emotional needs.
When Sigurd Vedal and his ex-wife were going through a rough patch in their marriage, they sought counseling from top counselors in Norway. Despite that, they left each session feeling like all they had done was shine a spotlight on their problems without being provided solutions on how to reconnect. After his divorce, Sigurd Vedal wasn’t satisfied with believing that love could simply dry up and cease to exist in a long-term relationship.
Sigurd Vedal did a lot of research, and after some time, he discovered that love is conditional but that husbands and wives can keep the passion and love alive within their marriage by performing acts of selflessness for the other spouse. He called this concept the love flame method. From this method, he built his relationship program, Marriage Booster. Now, he helps hundreds of couples restore their marriages.
If a couple seeks help from a marriage coach, they can receive insight about their marriage that will allow them to reignite the fire.
Reigniting Passion
Don’t accept that the love and excitement in your marriage are dead. With some effort from both you and your wife, passion can be restored in your marriage. Follow Sigurd Vedal so you can sign up for his Marriage Booster program. The AI marriage coach will give you and your wife customized plans for meeting each other’s needs. The journey to passionate love starts today.
